It said vessel, it must obviously have something to do with food

So in reply to my last post,

Usman: Whatever. Aisha aur Sobia ko chor ke aap ka blog parhta kaun hoga. Mein jo cheez hun woh sabko pata hai. Mere jaisa aaj tak koi paida nahi hua hai.
Humaira: Usman, an empty vessel makes much noise.
Usman: (pause) Aapko bhi mere pait se awaazein arahi hain?

Sheikh Nike was right

Impossible really is nothing. Why do I think so?

Ali got married. Ali Don.

I’m beginning to think even Usman has a chance now.

Insaan dukh nahin deta, insaanoun se wabasta umeedein dukh deti hain
-Ali R.A.

Dua

O Allah please forgive all my sins and grant me the Tawfeeq of making Islaah (reform). O Allah, make my Imaan strong with Taqwa and grant me Husn-e-Khaatimah (a beautiful Maut). O Allah, grant me Ilm and Hikmah (Wisdom) and give me Hidayah to practice upon what I know. Let me observe all the Sunnahs and keep me in the company of pious people in both the Worlds. O Allah grant me the love of all good deeds; create in me the urgency to do good with sincerity and Istiqaamah (Steadfastness). Please accept all my imperfect deeds through your Mercy. O Allah save me from all kinds of evil intentions and deeds. Save me from everything that leads towards evil. Let my heart reject evil and grant me the courage to stay away from all evil company. O Allah, protect me from Shaytan’s presence and his sweet tricks. O Allah, make it easy for me to control my Nafs, for me to accept my faults and to worry about my Imaan until death. O Allah, save us from all calamities, oppression, sihr (black magic) and from hurting anybody’s feelings. O Allah bless us with easy halal rizk in abundance and save us from debts and poverty. O Allah, grant me continuous excellent health so that I can make Ibadah with humility. O Allah, I beg of you through your Mercy for Jannatul-Firdaus without any reckoning. O Allah, save me from a bad Maut, the Azaab of the Qabr, the terrors of the Day of Qiyamah and from the horrors of Jahannam. Please do not disgrace me in front of all. O Allah, look after my parents. Have Mercy upon them just as they had mercy upon me in my childhood. Let me be of service to them with kindness and compassion. O Allah let my family be the coolness of my eyes. Protect them from all harm and grant them Barakah in their deeds, lifespan, knowledge and wealth. O’Allah, give me the strength to fulfil everyone’s rights without expecting any of mine to be fulfilled in return. Grant me a good character, soft speech, kind words and tolerance upon hurt and pain inflicted upon me. O Allah help the entire Ummah of Rasulullah (SAW). Grant them victory over all their enemies, remove their difficulties, bless them with Barakah and fulfil all their needs. O Allah, forgive all those who have passed away and fill their Qabr with Noor. Have Mercy upon them and let me take a lesson from their departure from this temporary world.

Ameen

Selfless Love part 2

You know the scene in Ghajini right before the song Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gayi, where Asin asks Aamir Khan not to sell their family land for his mother’s treatment (when he’s actually going to London to partaaayyyy), and gives him the money she gets from selling her car, this is what my friend had to say:

“What a stupid girl! If I were her, I’d ask him to bring back any money left over from the treatment for me.”

(It was funny at the time)

Slow and steady gets there in one piece

(I have no idea how much truth there is to this statement (it is ridiculous!), but it made me laugh in class, so here you go)

Pakistani Professor: I usually fly with Emirates Airlines whenever I need to go to Pakistan, but one time last year, they didn’t have any seats available, and I refuse to fly PIA, so I got a ticket on Air Blue instead.

Humaira: In what world is Air Blue better than PIA?

Professor: I didn’t know then, and my friend said it wasn’t so bad, so I thought I’d give it a try. We were waiting to board the plane at Dubai, when they informed us that there was a half-hour delay. The plane was supposed to reach at (say) 2pm initially, so I called my family and told them to come at 2.30pm instead to pick me.

We boarded the plane and took off, and at around 1.45 pm, there was an announcement from the Pilot, saying we would be landing at 2pm as scheduled. When some of the passengers asked how we had managed to reach Pakistan on time, he said “Simple. I took a shortcut”.

I’m so happy, I want to cry

I think I’ll survive now, even if we lose. 14 off 16 balls. Only. How I wish we had one extra wicket now. 

http://www.cricinfo.com/pakvnz2009/engine/current/match/426722.html

I am the clear winner here

(I think this is my favourite post)

Scene 1
Abu: How much for this box of grapes?
(Crook) Fruit vendor: 25 Dirhams
Abu: Bah. I’ll give you 3 Dirhams.
(Crook) Fruit vendor: Go away, baba
Abu: How dare you?! We have ruled you for over 200 years! Shove it.

Scene 2
Mummy: How much for this box of grapes?
(Crook) Fruit vendor: 25 Dirhams
Mummy: Definitely not worth that much. I’ll give you 10 Dirhams.
(Crook) Fruit vendor: NO! That doesn’t even cover my cost.
(2 minutes later)
(Crook) Fruit vendor: Ok fine, 10 Dirhams.
Mummy: Definitely not worth that much. I’ll give you 8 Dirhams.
Humaira: Mummy, I thought you said Pathan ki ek zabaan OW!
(Crook) Fruit vendor: NO! That doesn’t even cover my cost.
(2 minutes later)
(Crook) Fruit vendor: Ok fine, 8 Dirhams.
Mummy: Definitely not worth that much. I’ll give you 5 Dirhams.
Humaira: Mummy, I thought you said Pathan ki ek zabaan OW!
(Crook) Fruit vendor: NO! That doesn’t even cover my cost.
(2 minutes later)
(Crook) Fruit vendor: Ok fine, 5 Dirhams.
Mummy: Definitely not worth that much, but I’ll take it.
(Crook) Fruit Vendor: Should I put it in a bag or a box?
Mummy: Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t really like grapes. Its fine, I don’t want it.

Scene 3
Humaira: How much for this box of grapes?
(Miskeen) Fruit vendor: 25 Dirhams
Humaira: I’ll give you 22 Dirhams.
(Miskeen) Fruit vendor: Sigh, that doesn’t even cover my cost. 24 Dirhams?
Humaira: How about we meet halfway? I’ll give you 23 Dirhams.
(Miskeen) Fruit vendor: Sigh, ok, but this is only for you because you have such a kind heart.
Humaira: Yay!

At home:
Humaira: Mummy I got the Grapes for only 23 Dirhams! Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow!

You Know?!

I just remembered a funny story to add to my last post:

The first time I made a joke involving the male genitalia in front of Shahi and Saadia (there were no guys around, I’m not that vahiyaat), Shahi’s mouth dropped in shock. I think her exact response was “You know?!”

I was 22 years old.

Sensibly Crazy

The Atif Aslam songs reminded me of a post I’ve been thinking of writing for a while now. I remember up until a couple of years ago, I was Crazy about Atif Aslam. I went to every one of his concerts here, complete with taking a million pictures (that were so blurry because of the distance, I might as well have taken pictures of myself), screaming throughout, and crying at the sad songs. I downloaded all his new albums and made sure I listened to each song quite a few times before I rejected any. I think I even had a separate category for him on my old blog.

Then, I got over it. I was at a concert one time, and someone told me that he was drunk then, and that is how he usually performed. As crazy as I was about him until then, I thought Ew. I still like his songs, and my favouritest song is still by Atif Aslam, but I don’t feel the same about him anymore. Plus I have other options now, remember?

Whenever I swoon over a film star or a cricketer, I get told that I don’t look like the type who would/could have crushes. At first, I used to get really offended because I took this an insult to my, umm what is the equivalent of Mardaangi? Anyway, I used to think why would it seem weird if I had a crush? I mean, please – I’m a near-normal girl; then why is my sister convinced I’m homosexual?

But I guess it is the truth (not the homosexual part). I don’t have as many crushes as a regular girl, and even the ones I do, are very realistic. I never use words liek Hot or Sexy, because when I use them, I feel like I’m trying to imply much more than just that I think they’re umm likeable. Ok I don’t know how to say this clearly. Its just that I don’t see the point of pursuing something if I feel there might not be a (halal) result at some point in the future. And I don’t just mean this in the above context i.e., a (yeah-right-never-happening) crush.

Everyone in my office think of me when they want to forward an Islamic email; I remember I asked my manager once why she had forwarded an email with a few ahadith only to me. She said she was keeping me up to date.

And maybe its a good thing because others treat me with more respect. I was the only one in class who never got called names, because I didnt like it and I didn’t call anyone names myself. Saherin gets a kick out of singing disgusting songs in front of me, because I keep mumbling words like haram and vahiyaat the whole time.

Now I take this as almost a compliment to the Muslim me. I really do have sensible crushes. Liek why do you think I don’t go as crazy about Shahid Afridi? Well, because he is married. Shahid Kapoor? He’s not much of a Muslim. Plus, have you seen how good looking these guys are? Why waste time (and maybe even accumulate gunah) in the process, when I know nothing is ever happening?

Shoaib Malik as a crush is more realistic. He isn’t exactly great looking – more my level, so I might just have a chance. He prays regularly, as do I. Plus he’s the right age, exactly the right profession, relatively smart, but not enough to make me feel dumb, and his limited English has a Pakistani accent – seriously, we’re meant to be.