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I swear I’ve had this really weird feeling since thursday – like something is almost here now. Like something is about to happen. And now this. I don’t know what to do.

It’s been such a bad weekend – I’ve just been miserable. I actually burst out crying in my accounts class thursday night. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Atleast I could cry there – yes my accounts professor was kind of scared and everybody else in my class thought I was crazy, but I don’t give a shit. I can’t even cry at home.

I wish there was soemthing I could do. Someone I could talk to. But I can’t.

I was talking to Aisha about some movie yesterday and she said “But even after watching the whole movie, you can’t figure out who’s right and who’s wrong”. That’s so right sometimes.

Btw

Due to lack of time and the effort required to think of a clever title for my posts, I think atleast half of my posts are going to be titled ‘OMG’.

The other half will probably be ‘Wtf?!’

Oh and I forgot ‘How ammazing am I?’. That’s what the rest of them are going to be called.

OMG

I’m so tired I can’t even begin to tell you. I am so overloaded with work – usually there’ll be this avalanche of work, and it’ll pass in like a week or two. This time, it just won’t stop. I keep staying back after hours just so I can catch up – but whoosh! – next day I’ll have a million more things to do. I like being busy – it keeps your mind off other things – but this is just ridiculous.

I’ve been working till late at the office for the last two months, and surprisingly (and thank God), mummy hasn’t burst on me yet. Sometimes its weird – I ‘ll be at the office till 8 or 9, and no one will call me to ask me why I haven’t left yet. Khair, it’s better this way. I think.

Thank God the weekend is here. I’m going to go to sleep tonight – thursday night, and wake up only for work on Sunday morning.

Maybe I’ll wake up. Maybe not.

My Nido Milk Powder Camera

I’ve always liked taking pictures – I remember it all started when I first stole Abu’s pathetic camera (that he got for free from Nido milk powder) from his briefcase (which obviously earned me a lot of titles which have stuck through the years (wink wink sobia and aisha) ). This was when Rani was tiny, so I guess I was around 11-12 years old. I used to spend all the money I had on developing the pictures I took of Rani, in pretty much the same poses. She was a gorgeous baby MashAllah and I remember I used to show everybody in school all her pictures.

My next camera came from the same place – Abu’s briefcase. Well, it’s not like he would ever ever use it. He s such a scrooge – I swear at anytime, he would know exactly how many pictures were left in his roll of 36.  Which meant I couldn’t get away with using his camera. So obviously my next course of action was to steal the one that he wasn’t using.

I think this was the time when I ran out of all the money I had made from my Trading at school (I’ll write about this in detail another time – but OMG was I ammazing!) I stopped using the camera and I got my next proper camera a couple of years ago. Its a really cool camera and I used it a lot when it was new, but it doesn’t have rechargeable batteries, and mostly whenever there s a reason for me to be taking pictures, I run out of AA batteries. Which means I end up never taking any.

I’ve gotten another one now which I guess is good enough for now. I’m saving up* for a really good camera – something professional. I’ve heard they’re usually kind of heavy but maybe I can take cake breaks in between pictures.

On my List-Of-Things-To-Do-Before-I-Am-25, one of the things I need to do is a course in professional photography. I have, like, absolutely no time now, but InshaAllah once I’m done with my degree, I can start looking for something. I remember before I started my degree, I went around asking people what I should major in, and whenever anyone would say do something you find interesting, I would immediately think Photography. But then I would tumble back in to my real world, where even a business degree is frowned upon, and think Yeha!

*I’m all talk

P.s. I’ve started using a lot of MashAllah’s and InshaAllah’s these days. Which is actually a good thing – I am a Muslim after all. Alhamdulillah.

Why?

It’s ridiculous how many pointless things I remember. Why couldn’t God give me bigger eyes instead of a razor-sharp-memory-for-things-that-make-me-cry?

:)

:)

I think :) is so much cooler than :-)

(: is nice

:( is better than :-( anyday

:’( happens

Pointless. I know.

I can’t think of a title for this post

Isn’t it weird how sometimes you say something and you really mean it with all your heart – but after some time or in different circumstances, it’s just a big fat lie? How something you’re doing at one point seems like the right thing to do but after a while, you wonder what made you do it? 

Does this make any sense? No? Good.

I’m sick

As in not feeling well – not the eww sick. My throat infections are back full throttle. I get atleast one infection every 4-6 weeks. I’m not even bothering with going to a doctor anymore – I know it’ll hurt for a week or so and then I’ll be fine. 

And sometimes I’ll have a fever alongwith it, but I’m the only one who believes that. This is exactly what happens every single time – Ill tell mummy I have a fever, she’ll put her hand on my forehead, and say “tsk”. Meaning no you don’t. Maybe she doesn’t think so because I’m usually really cold (:( ), and then with a fever, my temperature is – normal, I guess.

And no. No way am I going to get my tonsils removed. Ever. 

kthanksbye

Atif Aslam

OMG he is so cute.

I went to his concert last night, and I had sooo much fun. Uff he s so ammazing

He started with most of his regular songs and I think I lost my voice (and my sense of poise and dignity) in the first two songs. Then he sang Yaqeen. He always says ‘This is for a special someone’ and sings Yaqeen. That always calms me down. It’s just such a sad song. I know for a fact there is no one in this whole world who’s heard this song more than I have. It’s just not possible. I’ve heard it atleast a gazillion times. It’s perfect – there’s not a single word or guitar chord out of place and every playlist that I have, has this song atleast 2 times. I can’t get it out of my head. I just love it.