dum dum di dum

I’m supposed to be studying right now, so obviously I thought I’d waste sometime here.

We have a visiting professor, and since there is a humungous possibility of me failing Management Accounting, I’ve taken some time off work this week and have been spending the whole day at school. The morning classes are so different from the ones in the evening -so much more fun:( I wish I had gone to a normal college. And its not just the part where I get to have fun with all my classmates/friends (surprisingly, the whole class knows my name – and here I thought I was succeeding at being the least popular girl in class), I also love how there are more discussions on what we’re studying. The evening classes are so dull.

I think I’m giving this more thought than I usually do because I’m not enjoying my job. And because its late and I should be in bed right now, but its about time I started studying. And because I like attending class but I hate having to study for exams. And because I have a whole month to go before I’m done with my exams.

Ok bye.

I think its me

Has anyone else noticed? I was in Dubai for the first match (even waved to everyone when I was driving by Sports City where Pakistan was playing Australia (I’m sure they felt it)), and we won by approximately a million wickets.

The second match, I was busy and couldn’t offer moral support via telepathy, and we lost.

And now I’m here again – and we’re winning!!

I think Shoaib Malik can sense my presence – Ah true love!

P.s. I’m talking about the Pakistan vs. Australia series in UAE

P.p.s. I’ve been trying to upload a picture of Shoaib Malik where he looks drop-dead gorgeous, but my internet sucks today. Dont worry I’ll make a whole post dedicated to him soon.

Except, With More Spandex

Its not stealing if I ask the owner of the blog before I copy their stuff, so thank you daysofarabianlives for letting me :) This is hilarious!

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Membership Renewal

Dear David

This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon.

All the best, Jeff Peters

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Membership Renewal

Dear Jeff,

Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around $372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 – Please confirm that this is correct and I will renew my membership immediately. Also, do I get a Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the price? I own my own legwarmers and headband.

Regards, David.

 

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Hello David

How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not have those bags.

Cheers, Jeff

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

Do I get free shipping with that?

Regards, David.

 

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six months.

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go several days without washing. I feel bad constantly having to ask the lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather rude, telling me to ‘lift this’, ”push that’ dulled my initial enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending.

Regards, David.

 

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Hello David

Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids, it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms you could look at joining instead.

Cheers, Jeff

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn’t talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher ‘mum’ and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously.

Regards, David.

 

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Go f$*k yourself.

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse. As another side effect is a reduction in the size of your p#$%, this gives you understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for yourself and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my p#$% was a quarter of the size I would probably take my anger out on those around me as well. There are probably support groups or websites that could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills. When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that you guys usually listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be worth a try.

Regards, David.

 

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Ok.

 

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again?

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

The middle one.

Dibba and (almost) Oman Here I Comeeeeeeeeee

We’re going for Sobia’s birthday and although I am super-duper excited, I am trying to act all mature about it in front of all my friends because apparently, “normal people” go for trips and picnics all the time.

So I’m acting like this is not such a big deal on the outside, but as hamzo said: “dil mein toh khushi se choohay dor rahe hain”.

Expect a lot of picture stories next week :)

I <3 Shahid Afridi

10-0-38-6

Such beautiful numbers.

I’m still having trouble breathing from all the screaming.

Quote: aisha – u know what that commentator on hum fm (mid wickut off stump guy) said..
“and now we have shoaib malik bowling from the emirates road end”
lol.

Untitled

Aren’t we all a little afraid of not being able to say what we truly want to? There are these moments in life that slip us by, and then unspoken apologies and confrontations haunt us forever.

Main aur meri tanhayi, aksar ye baatein karte hain.

Happy To You Sobia!

Don’t worry – you don’t look a day over 25.

:(

:(

All the blogs are talking about how Jinnah’s dream was a mistake :( I really hope Pakistan comes out of this stronger than ever.
I love pakistan. I don’t want it to be a failure :(

Afghan Car Wash

Logar: I saw this guy trying to wash a whole car using only this. So funny.

(Click on the image to enlarge. He’s holding a ‘lota’ in his right hand)

I’m bored

I was just reading a conversation I had with Sobia and Rani in 2006 - 

humaira® says: 

i know by the time i come home, ull be going out with mummy again

humaira® says:

so its better u do it now and ull get the watch

gudia says:

no prob yesterday i dint sleep i was crying the whole half day

humaira® says: 

whole half day?

humaira® says:

bobo\

And this is how Sobia decides to conclude a very serious conversation:

sobia says:

i will speak to u guys later ok

sobia says:

i changed my font color

sobia says:

which one is better

sobia says:

wat do u think of this one

sobia says:

or this one

sobia says:

i will just keep it pink

sobia says:

this is the best one so far

sobia says:

i will speak to u wen i come back

sobia says:

bbye