Randomos Part 1 – My Autobiography & Popcorn

I can smell pop corn. I’m going home from work, and there’s no one next to me eating any, and the last time I had popcorn was like 1976. Well more like 2007 maybe. I like to exaggerate, but not when it makes me come across as older than I am.

How come I’ve never seen the Pakistani Womens cricket team play? I wonder what sort of uniforms they wear. Do you think they bukal (sp?) their dupattas?

Ice Age 3 is out. I can’t wait to watch it I loved the last two movies. If anyone is going, don’t forget to invite me.

This summer has been such a waste. I’ve been off from college for a whole month now, and I haven’t done anything. I had thought I’ll start working out regularly, but I’m still a long way off from regular. I want to make sure I’m so fit that I can eat as much food as I want more than 3 days in a row, without people asking me on the fourth day when the baby is due. Plus, I want to build some stamina in myself. Right now, I jog 500 metres and pant for the next 600 metres. But I’m still going to do it. I don’t know how people let themselves go. I love food more than anyone I know, and there’s no such thing as marginal utility in my dictionary. More often than not, I eat way more than is enough for my size, but I make sure I make up for it in some way or other. No offense to the fatties*, but I’m never putting on weight.

*Considering the way I talk, I wonder why I never got beaten up when I was younger. It must have been the Pakistani attitude.

Someone called me a rounded person the other day. I wonder what they meant.

Doesn’t bulimia sound very convenient? Eat as much as you want, without ever putting on weight. Although it does probably leave a bad
taste in your mouth.

We laughed so much at dinner Saturday night. It will be a long long time before I will be able to speak to Noori again, without thinking Banoo Mein Teri Dulhan and Chutney aka Ketchup.

Why do people think its cute to post pictures of their babies’ limbs on facebook? I mean the only reason I’ve been gushing over those baby feet is because I’m baby crazy, but surely no one else finds them as interesting?

I remember the last concert we went to, one of the bands were singing Pehli Nazar Mein by Atif Aslam. A repeated line in that song is Baby I love you. At this show, the guy would go ‘Babay I love you’ full of passion, and everytime, they would show a real baby on the LCD displays. So funny.

I love the new Atif Aslam track from the second episode of Coke Studio.

I was watching one of mummy’s Indian dramas yesterday as I waited for something and there was a scene where two of the main characters have just been in a fight (they’re married, duh). The whole khandaan starts
playing a game (does this happen in real life too? I know my family would die of embarrassment before they play a game like the one I will describe now) where each person writes down three things they lurve about their spouse, and then let’s the spouse read them out loud. When the girl opens hers, she sees that the guy has left the page blank:( This is why you shouldn’t get married.

I think I’m on the verge of one of my bad/sad moods.

There’s this silly girl in my bus who keeps competing with me for my favorite seat. Its my favorite because I get to sit all alone and it has a huge window. Everytime she gets the seat before me, she goes to sleep. Why does she even need a big window?

I love it when people address me by my name – both my first name and family name. One of my colleagues calls me Gulzad, and I like it so much, its the only time I don’t think he’s gay.

I <3 jelly beans.

I’ve decided what my autobiography will be called: ‘Seriously, What The Fuck: An Inspirational Journey Of The Soul’. Don’t forget to grab your copy!